An Ode to my Vitamix

Everybody has a few kitchen tools in their arsenal that they would never be able to go without, not even for a week. Chris and I play a game wherein we say “if this broke, how quickly would we go buy a new one?” There are some that we waffle around for a month, and there are others that we would buy immediately, regardless of cost and distance and time restraints. I could actually live without my Kitchenaid and Cuisinart for a few weeks. I have really good knives, and a hand mixer for cake emergencies. I wouldn’t ever want a kitchen without those two items, but they wouldn’t be an emergency or anything if they disappeared for a short time.

Here, though, is a list of the things that would be bought within a week:
Zojirushi rice cooker
Zojirushi breadmaker
WaringPro deep fryer

And here is the item that would be bought within a day:
Vitamix

There is no tool in my kitchen that has proven to be more of a badass, useful, easy, workhorse than that particular blender.

I’m at the point in my love affair with Vitamix that I wouldn’t even accept a different brand of blender if it were free of charge. The Vitamix costs a pretty penny, but it’s worth three times its cost and lasts FOREVER.

It’s not even attractive. It’s so obviously a utilitarian item that it doesn’t even need to TRY to be pretty. It’d be like putting rhinestones on Heidi Klum’s vagina. Who the hell is even going to NOTICE something sparkly on something that is already surrounded by a veil of magic and mystery and ethereal glitter?

Anyway, this is not so much a recipe as it is just paying homage to my blender, but I thought you should give it a try if you’re able.

Corn, poblano, and potato soup

6 ears corn on the cob, grilled until slightly charred in spots
2 poblano peppers, charred on the grill, peeled, and seeded
1 medium onion, diced
1 T minced garlic (a spoonful of garlic confit works even better)
About 6 small red potatoes, cleaned and diced into bite-sized pieces
Vegetable stock as needed
.25 C half and half
A big handful of either stale tortilla chips or a few old corn tortillas
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste
Cumin, a smidge
Garnishes like avocado, cilantro, cheese, or sour cream, if you please

Saute the onion in the olive oil until it starts to get soft. Stick it in the blender. Then add the potatoes to the same pan, cover with vegetable stock, salt a bit, and then simmer until the potatoes are tender (about 10 minutes). Don’t overcook them. Strain the potatoes, reserving the stock. Set the potatoes aside in a large bowl.

Cut the corn off of the cobs, being careful not to cut too close to the cob and get the fibrous material. Stick half of it in the blender, reserve the rest into the bowl with the potatoes.

Roughly chop the poblanos and stick them in the blender.

Add a small amount of reserved stock to the blender with the corn, poblanos, garlic, and onions. Blend on low speed, adding vegetable stock as needed to make a thick soup. Increase speed as you go to get a uniform consistency.

Add your tortilla chips or tortillas, your cream, and a smidge of cumin, salt, and pepper. Blend until a medium consistency soup has formed. Make sure there aren’t any chunks. Taste and adjust seasoning.

Pour soup over potatoes and reserved corn. Top with garnishes like sour cream, avocado, cilantro, or cheese. Serve.


This soup is spicy, hearty, vegetarian, nutritious, and spectacularly refreshing all at once. And it takes all of 20 minutes to prepare, start to finish, leaving you with one pot, one knife, one cutting board, and one easy-to-clean blender in your dirty pile. Not so bad, my friend. Not so bad.

Let he who has never made out with his blender cast the first stone.

8 thoughts on “An Ode to my Vitamix”

  1. hmmm, thing that would be replaced within a day…That'd have to be a large pot for making pasta. Right now I have two (three if we count the dutch oven) that I use but if they went AWOL, I'd have to get a new one post haste. Same for the 2 large non-stick skillets we have (though I could probably wait a week for that by using my stainless steel saute pan).

  2. You have a vitamix? I hate you.

    I read this post to my husband and he has officially volunteered for the thankless task of putting rhinestones on Heidi Klum's vagina.

  3. I couldnt live without my pizza stone. I cooke a lot of good things on that other than pizza. However, I have been the winner to many a pizza cook-offs with friends because of that sweet piece of stone.

  4. Yeah, speaking of excessive gadgets! I almost bought a Vitamix the other day, and stopped because I have a Cuisinart, a KitchenAid and a dumb old blender…
    Now you've gone and done this.

    You use the heat and freeze functions?

  5. hmm, okay, totally random-ass kitchen accoutrement. Something that you can use to make cooking easier, but isn't necessary in order to accomplish the meal…

    Things I can think of that we have:
    Pizza Stone
    Pasta maker doohickey
    Scale
    Garlic Press
    Ulu knife and board
    Toaster tongs
    Hamburger Patty press-maker thing
    Salad dressing mix thingy
    griddle
    electric fondue pot
    George Foreman Grill
    blender wand
    mandolin

    Pizza Stone, scale, garlic press would be replaced in a week. And there are some items on that list that I wouldn't replace at all (I'm looking at you George Foreman). I don't think there's anything on that list that would be replaced within a day.

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