Conspiracy Theories

Osama bin Laden is dead. Or is he? According to the world wide web, this may all be an elaborate hoax played by President Obama in order to shift attention from his birth certificate. Or possibly to get him reelected. Or possibly Osama is STILL ALIVE, and we’re just lying about his death because the White House was bored on Sunday afternoon and had a few too many margaritas. Maybe Osama was actually kidnapped by aliens from another planet, and they’re holding him hostage until we release the long form of ingredients in Velveeta cheeze, which is the only substance with the long-term hold required to fix their spaceship. Who knows??

The beauty of times like this is that it’s OKAY TO SPECULATE! It’s okay to fuel wild rumors about what may have happened, and to throw accusations at the POTA, despite NOT KNOWING JACK OR SHIT ABOUT MILITARY OPS! You are an AMERICAN, dammit! And if you want to make things up to whip your peers into a frenzy, well, that’s more than okay. It’s encouraged!
So, in honor of the vast outpouring of conspiracy theories and lunatic accusations, I will be hosting a giveaway.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to create a tinfoil hat. The twist is that your hat has to double as food storage or a serving piece. And you have to submit pictures of someone (could be you, your child, your dog, etc) wearing the hat, and then of your hat being used to serve/store food as designed.

3 thoughts on “Conspiracy Theories”

  1. Does it have to be TIN foil? Aluminum foil is so much easier to work with. Any extra points for providing a Simpsons-esque "MLB is spying on us" picture?

  2. And…this is why I stalk you and think you are great. I do not have any tin foil hats…but I do believe that, according to the convo you had with my uncle, that I could call him up and get one from him. :)

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