Lazy Lunch

Okay, first off, I have to say Maria Menounos is a whore. Here’s why; I spent the morning (after a bike ride, of course) tromping around the kitchen with uncomfortable velcro rollers stuck to my scalp because Maria Menounos has been pimping Pantene Pro-V and has perfect hair in the commercials. She claims that she just throws the rollers in, spritzes with the hairspray, and *BAM* perfectly bouncy curls. Now, I didn’t expect to have perfectly bouncy curls. As a natural blonde with very straight hair, it typically does absolutely nothing I want it to, preferring to remain stick-straight (and also tangling at the slightest suggestion that I might be getting ready to set down my brush and leave the bathroom). But I did expect some level of wave or, at the very least, body. So I had to leave my head completely still while trying to assemble some kind of lunch without violating the no-cooking ordinances set out for the weekend. As you can see above, I was tremendously lazy with lunch-prep, and Chris will probably die of scurvy by nightfall. But I knew that my little snack-food spread would be worth it when I finally managed to unroll my hair and find the beauty I was hoping to find.

Does anyone want to venture a guess as to what happened? Okay, fret not. I’ll tell you! I unrolled the curlers to find that my hair was completely straight and useless, with the exception of a hideous little kink where I had been holding the rollers away from my eyeballs with an elastic headband. Awesome, Maria. Way to make me waste my morning with your lies. My hair actually looks worse now than if it had been left alone AND I have to wear the headband all day so I don’t look like a complete fool with my bangs kinked up. Chris thinks this whole thing is the height of hilarity and said he thought the rollers were adorable, leading me to believe that I’ll have a smooth romantic transition into old age. I wonder how he feels about embroidered sweatshirts…

Anyway, lunch ended up being Utz pretzels (a total Pennsylvania Dutch throwback to my childhood and all of our visits to relatives out East) with a mustard dip comprised of Beavers Sweet Hot mustard and a splash of Coors. Chris helpfully finished the beer before dragging a latte upstairs to study. Sometimes things run a little backwards round these parts, heeeyuck. Accompanying that combo we had Triscuits with garlic salami and smoked Gouda, honeydew melon with a honey-lemon drizzle, and sad-looking baby carrots with Caesar dressing. We had leftover dressing from last night’s equally lazy dinner of grilled pita bread and Caesar salad. I think I might need to break the baking ban and finally make those biscotti I’ve been talking about for two days.

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