One super-fun thing about babies is that they like to play hide-and-go-seek with your stuff. Another fun thing about babies is that they assign high values to certain items for seemingly no reason, and those are the items they like to hide the most. My own personal baby is an extremely big fan of small electronic and/or mechanical components. This means that if he finds, say, a small Xbox memory card, it’ll likely be relocated to a place that only he knows about. And he’s only 1 year old, so if you ask him, “Hey, small baby. Where do you suppose you may have put Daddy’s memory card?” He’ll respond by flashing you all six of his small baby teeth in a grin, then wiping something sticky on your pants and the couch. It’s all he knows.
He’s also a little bit of a tiny ringer for TLC’s Hoarders: Buried Alive. He keeps things in little collections, like a raccoon. Woe betide the person who should try to remove one of his precious trinkets. Currently, in a washbasket in our living room, there is a DVD, the original Simpsons game for the Xbox, an Xbox controller battery, a small shred of what was once a cable bill, and the “T” bar part of the deadbolt for our back door. It fell off while I was locking it, so now we can only lock and unlock it using the little nubbin that used to hold the “T” bar, because our baby has taken control of the critical piece.
Also currently missing from this plane of existence is the 3x.5″ plastic USB converter for our SD card. This means that I can’t upload photos of food from our camera. I asked Chris where I might locate the device (which usually is plugged into our upstairs computer). He texted, and I quote, “Emmett had it upstairs. I took it away, and I think under papers.”
Chris is very nearly reaching the age where I can start submitting his misfirings to whenparentstext.com.
I have searched this office far and wide for the tiny bit of plastic (held together at the seams with hot pink duct tape). Still nothing. I have lain on the floor to approximate being very short and baby-like. I don’t see it in my immediate field of vision, and I am now covered in golden retriever fur. The ass of my pants looks like Goldie Hawn.
So until Chris returns home, and he and Emmett can go on a scavenger hunt to locate which one of Emmett’s treasure troves contains the magic USB piece, I cannot post the blog I have for today.
|The eyes of a madman, plotting behind his Hippogriff|
I can only hope that we find it more successfully than we found the Xbox memory card. My guess is that it went to swim with the fishes, given Emmett’s other hobby: Putting Things In The Toilet.