Finished with my first week of culinary school, and have learned so much. Like that I don’t ever want to eat turnip greens…ever. We had a tasting this afternoon in product knowledge that involved the tasting, smelling, touching, fondling, and goosing various lettuces, salad greens, and cooking greens. Here is a direct transcript of my notes:
Iceberg Lettuce-Tastes like a Wendy’s salad bar. Lettuce for poor people. Stands up well to bleu cheese dressing, which is gross.
Romaine Lettuce-Slightly bitter. Needs Caesar dressing. Must make Caesar dressing this weekend.
Green leaf lettuce-Spongy and delightful feeling. Is earthy because it still has earth in it, as judged by the sand I’m chewing.
Red leaf lettuce-this is just a different race of green leaf lettuce. Bitter aftertaste. Sweet vein.
Arugula-Tastes like nuts. Deez nutz. Looks like an oak leaf sort of. Goes well with assertive dressings. Do not mix with mild lettuces.
Mache-UGH! Tastes like hairspray. And soap. And lawnmower clippings. Floral nose…as in Glade Floral Bathroom Spray.
Spinach-Sauteed very quickly, familiar and tasty. Hearty. Would still rather eat raw in a salad.
Mustard greens-Smells like when you lift the lid off of a shitty lean cuisine and all the ass-steam escapes. Gross.
Turnip greens- EW!! Tastes like old people smell. Repulsive. Feels like a leather S&M; mask
Collard greens- I am so not southern enough for this. Less offensive than turnip greens, but so is genocide.
Then he asked us to share from our list of experiences. Ummm…..shoot.
Fortunately, he didn’t ask me to share my thoughts on the cooked greens after I told him my feelings about mache.