Franks and Dawgs

Day 2: Chicago Trip

At this point, we’d been in Chicago for less than 24 hours, and had already managed to eat and drink our way through Xoco, iNG, The Aviary, and The Publican.

I woke up full.  Still.  So breakfast was Argo Tea.  I LOVE Argo Tea, and my only beef with them so far is that those motherlovers still refuse to bring their heavenly libations to Colorado, even though we’re all overpaid, filthy hippies, and would be the perfect market, and OMG WHY DO YOU HATE ME ARGO TEA???  I started my morning with a coconut chai tea.  Then I had a vanilla bubble tea.  I love their bubbles.  They’re made of nata de coco and winning, and apparently can only be purchased directly from the Philippines, and my only Filipino friend has been thus far too selfish to go get me some.  It’s your homeland, Doug. Just go.

After filling up (yeah, filling up) on about 600 calories of sweetened tea drinks, we walked to the Trader Joe’s area and purchased some goodies.  Trader Joe’s also refuses to open a store in Colorado.  I’m noticing a trend here.  I got two mustards, because my cousin Nate hasn’t brought me any Penn State Herlocher’s dipping mustard yet. Um, hi? Unless Herlocher is ALSO currently under investigation for sexual assault, then I don’t understand the hold up.  Also, I got two squeezy tubes of organic sweetened condensed milk.  I’ve never seen organic SCM before, and I almost cried tears of joy.  Usually I just eat a whole can of the traditional stuff, and then feel round and guilty for a while.

When I was a kid, I used to steal cans of it from my mom’s pantry.  I’d poke two triangular holes in the top with the bar punch, then take it to my room and sip from it for a up to a week.  Unrefrigerated.  I never died of listeria or mold ingestion or anything, which either means that it’s got more preservatives than are strictly considered “safe” for human ingestion, or I was just exercising my superhuman Viking immune system, and that’s why I never get food poisoning.

Back to the trip.  We crossed the street to Franks and Dawgs, which is a hot dog stand in Lincoln Park that features two things that I find imminently fanciable: humanely raised hot dogs and triple truffle fries.  Last time we went to Chicago, we spent hours traveling and waiting for Hot Dougs dogs and duck fat fries.  They were good, and a great experience, but took up a lot of a day.  Franks and Dawgs had almost no line to speak of, got the food out quickly, and is right in the middle of a fun part of the city, so the walk to and from is both fast and interesting.

Also, you get to pick a shame celebrity to stick to your table with velcro so they know where to deliver your order.  We chose shaved-head Britney.  The people across from us had Charlie Sheen.

Must. Learn. To Make. Buns.

Giddyup cheese curds

We both ordered the “Chicagoesque,” which was a natural beef hot dog on a New England-style bun, surrounded with spicy house mustard, pickles, cherry tomato relish, and caramelized onions.  The dog was great, the fixings were flavorful and well-matched, but the bun was the real star.  The New England-style bun is thick, soft, buttered, and griddled.  I’d never had one before, and was just thrilled with it.  We also ordered fried cheese curds (when in the Midwest…) and the triple truffle fries, which were criss-cut fries drenched in truffle oil, truffle butter, and truffle salt.  The whole bill was like $20, and I would have paid twice that for the quality and quantity of food we got.  Very good choice for a cheap, accessible, semi-authentic restaurant.

Way crispier than Hot Doug’s duck fat fries, which = WIN

Who is so full they need another nap?  THESE GUYS!

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