Sorry, Ms. Dorie

See? Butt-shit ugly.


I totally forgot to post this picture or explanation yesterday, even though I was clearly supposed to.

Tuesdays with Dorie this week was arborio rice pudding (chocolate or vanilla flavor or both). I went with both. It was weak-ass. The pudding never thickened, despite the starchy goodness of arborio rice, so it was just basically sweet milk with rice in it. Meh. I put ground chocolate in half of it. Still meh. I put in some dried strawberries I’ve had soaking in sugar and vodka for a month. Still meh. Though the strawberries were good, if you like eating fruit with an extremely high proof. Overall I’d give the recipe an F- for how unsuccessful it turned out.

Then again, there is no rice pudding better than parboiled rice mixed with sweetened condensed milk to finish cooking, and then liberally flavored with cinnamon and vanilla. I’m telling you. Nothing like it.

Now, for your entertainment, I present you with some pictures of my pets doing weird shit over the past week. And no, none of these were staged. Although the pills were out because Chris was taking pictures of random pills for the medical website he’s building. We’re not sickies, or anything.The first step was getting her to admit she has a problem



Intimidating nobody in particular with a menacing smile and a display of “deez nutz”


It’s a wild cow-cat, the last of his kind, in his natural habitat–the dryer.”

11 thoughts on “Sorry, Ms. Dorie”

  1. I have to agree. That looks butt shit ugly. I’ve never been a fan of rice pudding anyway (rice is rice – pudding is pudding), but lately have been considering giving it another shot. That photo was almost enough to sway me in the other direction, but cinnamon and condensed milk might do the trick.

    That’s a damn cute cat.

  2. Lordie, I love that you narked out your cat. Mine is a raging alcoholic. He makes a beeline for every glass of wine that I pour, and seems ever so much more fond of my single malts. I wouldn’t mind so much if he would contribute to the household once in a while, but to drink all my beer when I’m out for coffee with a friend is just rude….at least, Mike SAID it was the cat…..

    BY the way, my word verification is ‘pulflownet’ which I would have trouble typing at the best of times.

  3. Not really your fault, like I said: rice pudding looks like chyme and there’s no good reason for people to photograph that shit and put it on Tastespotting. It’s bad enough that Sarah is such a slave to her sweet tooth that she’ll wallpaper a whole page with the same fucking dessert, over and over again until you’re diabetic, but when it’s 7:30 am and everything looks like the second stage of the human digestive system, well I just can’t keep that shit down. My breakfast, that is.

    The cat is damn cute. I like mine better when he’s on his kitty ‘ludes.

  4. Wow, so speaking of butt-shit ugly, the race photos are up. I’m going to have to incorporate some smiling into my training program, I look like I’m at a funeral. And a little bit like a moose too but that’s beside the point.

  5. Ugly or no, you should have no problem getting it up on Tastespotting, since they’ll take any goddamn picture of a dessert, no matter how banal, lame, or hackneyed. Seriously, you could take a picture of a cupcake in a TOILET and they’d fucking put it up there.

    I make rice pudding for the kid sometimes with a banana and honey or maple syrup, but then he also likes oatmeal, which I do not.

    I’ll try to send you that soy recipe thing soon.

  6. Oh, and Tina? I used to do foster care for the neonatal unit at the humane society, and I once had a bottle baby who, as soon as she was weaned, could not get ENOUGH of the Bailey’s. I had to put coasters over my glasses. That was in my Irish Cream phase (a phase that I’m not currently in, only because my metabolism is a giant piece of shit).

  7. Hey, do you have a good ‘doesn’t get crunchy’ gingerbread or sugar/butter cookie recipe?

    And I think the word verification is starting to read your blog. my word for the day is “gluto”

  8. worn out reading all this stuff. but in a good way. but i am late to the party as usual.

    as for tastespotting – DO NOT GET ME STARTED. my pumpkin cake? no. my cool pea soup shot? no. i sent her an email asking if i’d offended her somehow. no reply. ha.

    my great chicken feet shot? they rejected and then i wrote back saying COME ON and she put it up and it got mega action.

    i mean WHAT THE FUCK.

    ???

    i love rice pudding dearly. i don’t care if it’s ugly. i could eat buckets. but that recipe sounds like it sucked.

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