Duck, Duck, Porn

I had tempted you all with dirty talk about duck confit, and it feels like the right thing to do would be to show you a picture of the finished product. I swear to God, and I say that without any sense of blasphemy since this is clearly a food he’d love, that it is the best thing I’ve ever eaten. I’ve said that before. I felt I had to reiterate. Best. Food. Ever.

I know that it may not be the traditional “aesthetic” food. It’s kind of mauled and decomposed looking. But anyone with any culinary chops whatsoever. Anyone who doesn’t think that Velveeta is a legitimate food product, anyone who won’t eat microwaved IQF chicken “breasts,” well, they’d think this is gorgeous. Decadence in its purist form. Literally about 1000 calories per serving. But if you only eat a couple of bites, and you let your significant other eat the other bites without telling him how many calories are in it, just to see if it’s physically POSSIBLE for him to gain weight (answer: no, which is almost reason to break up with him, right?), then it’s not THAT bad. Especially because I only had a couple of bites and then followed it up with sauteed tofu, pineapple and carrots in just a smidgen of teriyaki. Which is healthy, right? I mean, it’s TOFU. So the fact that I sauteed it in the leftover duck fat is inconsequential…meaning its both vegetarian AND heart-healthy. Right? Ah, forget it.

Note: sauteeing tofu in duck fat might get Mike to eat tofu, Tina.

6 thoughts on “Duck, Duck, Porn”

  1. Beauty, and congratulations. I have yet to try that technique myself (but here in the Bay Area I can just roll out of bed and chase down the confit-vending truck when it comes through my neighborhood playing its tinkle-bell tune).

  2. Im pretty sure that it doesnt matter how you cook tofu- you get kudos for eating it which are like magic points that make it healthy – this is all because tofu is soy poop and gross by its self.

  3. I just spent the last ten seconds considering whether it would be feasible to confit tofu….. and then I thought about bacon wrapped tofu, decided that I could go for some of that right NOW, and realized that perhaps this is yet another reason why I have a weight problem.

    I do enjoy living vicariously through you, runner girl.

  4. At work, they first slow roast, the poach the duck in duck fat. Then they remove them and quickly pan sear them so they get crispy.

    Vats of both the roasting liquid and warm duck fat are then sitting around, and they expect me not to eat an entire baguette’s worth of dippage.

    cuz yes, I will eat plain duck fat. I am discusting.

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