Nom-Noms

I am sorry to say that there will be no pictures of the food because there is no way to connect our camera to the computer. There will be, of course, stunning descriptions to help you understand the awesomeness that each meal delivers. There are several foods that we got to enjoy.

In order of consumption…

1st: Raspberry Cheesecake

This cake was lucky to make it through day 1. I am a HUGE fan of cheesecake. I would wear a cheesecake jersey to most sporting events if they made them in my size. Sadly, the instructions made me wait a total of 4 hours before I could enjoy the delectable dessert (1 to thaw, 3 in the fridge to reach the correct texture). It was well worth the wait. The cheesecake was hard enough to keep its form when cut, but soft enough to melt in my mouth. The cheesecake was more creamy than sweet, which is what I prefer. The raspberry added an interesting aesthetic element to the cake. It was functional because it divided the cake into tiny slices. It was obviously done with free-hand, which gave it an obvious homemade appeal. The lines of raspberry didn’t overtake the cheesecake taste, as raspberry tends to do. Overall, this dessert will be hard to top.

2nd: Coq Au Vin (Pronounced-“purple chicken”)

I am wary of the French. They bitched a lot when President Obama gave them a DVD-set as the customary annual gift. The gave him a pen made of wood from an old famous battleship. Sure, Obama may have picked their gift at the airport last minute. But let’s be honest, who wants a pen made from the equivalent of the S.S. Retreat? The point is (no point, actually, just a useful transition) that I am wary of French sounding food. I am also wary of purple food. Needless to say I was wary of this specific food. It just happened to be delicious. The chicken practically fell off of the bone, and the accompanying mushrooms, carrots, and orzo soaked up the red wine flavor the chicken could not. It felt like grown-up food, which is a nice change from eating PB&Js; for three weeks because peanut-butter went on sale. Though delicious, I do think that the meal carried undertones of a devious nature. As I said earlier, I am pretty happy not being overly fat. My two siblings need for me to become fat so that their 19 year old rivalry can settle into the past. (My little sister was born on my older sister’s birthday. They feel that the only solution is for me to become fat.) This dish was LOADED with butter. I love me some butter, but this went far beyond flavoring and into artery-sabotage. Suspicion aside, this dish was delicious and surely more complex than I understand or described.

3rd: Enchilada

This was the kind of dish that surely took more time, effort, and quality ingredients than I can adequately appreciate. (Prepare to be underwhelmed with descriptive words) The top was crunchy and cheesy. It was thick, which surprised me because I can usually only make thin foods crispy. The inside was a great mix of red-rice, beans, tomatoes, green peppers, chicken, and beef. The chicken managed to attach itself to the sides, while the beef acted as a filler, mixing with the other motherless ingredients. The result was a “taste-sandwich” of sorts. There was a clear top and bottom, both crispy and lined with chicken. The inside provided the bulk of the flavor, without ruining the texture provide by the ends of the “taste-sandwich.”

4th: Jim Beam Tiramisu

I could tell I was in for a treat with this cake for two reasons:

1: It had the name of a liquor in its title.
2: The tin foil had a note, which read, “One Scoop Missing :-)”

I would generally define a “scoop” as a portion which can be removed with a reasonable sized spoon or scooper. She must have found a sand-castle shovel or something of that nature to remove this scoop. I could tell why I would only be getting three-quarters of the cake moments after taking a bite.

Sometimes, I wish I could just rest on my back and spray concentrated flavors into my mouth. It would remove the effort of chewing and, for the most part, swallowing food. This cake comes close to fulfilling that culinary fantasy. Each inch of cake contains the flavor of 10 homemade cinnamon rolls. Once in the mouth, the cake melts away within seconds, but the flavor remains for a good minute after the food is gone. It is like the food disappears. “Those tricksy Hobbits!”

Although I warned you that I am not the chef in the family, I do know my way around a grill. We had a simple and classic, yet delicious lunch yesterday. We bought some quality unflavored bratwurst at the grocery story. Then, we picked up my favorite beer: Arrogant Bastard (I know) from the Stone Brewing Company in Cali. I have heard rumors that it doesn’t matter if you use Keystone Light (Pronounced Kay-Stone-Eh if you are trying to impress chicks with your cultured-ness)or a nice beer. It seems common sense to me that a better beer would make a better beer-brat, but I am not sure. Any chef-folk who know the answer? Just let me know. Anyway… we poked some holes in the brats, cooked them slowly in the dark-and-hoppy microbrew, and cooked 1 minute on high heat on each side on the grill. Much like me, they were fantastic and my fiance loved them.

I will have more foods to update you on by tomorrow. I would love to hear any beers that make for kick-ass beer-brats, if you have a suggestion or two.

The cats are coming out of their shells, and learning to trust us. They are full of love and only vomit about once a day now.

I will not dance around the fact, Willie is a chub-chub. He is on his last bit of puppy food before he switches over to Grown-Ass-Dog (should be a brand) food. I have developed a Semper Fido workout plan to get him back in shape. He LOVES his workout… for the first 5 minutes. I am pretty sure he is terrified of his ball now that he knows he may have to chase it at a park. It is nice for us as well, because he passes out almost immediately upon getting back inside. He scored a 4 out of 10 on yesterday’s workout. Hopefully his score will improve throughout the week. (Point Breakdown: 4 points for effort, 4 points for time, and 2 points for cuteness. He starts with a minimum of 2 points, naturally.) Well, we are gonna take him on his first Semper Fido Physical Training session of the day. He is probably hiding under the bed.

8 thoughts on “Nom-Noms”

  1. You definitely should write a book about the Semper Fi-do workout, illustrated, of course, with Willie the porker. You are doing a great job with the blog and making me insanely jealous – I so want a taste of that casserole and I know you didn’t save me any cheesecake, either. Butthole. hugs. momma

  2. your mom called you a butthole. i think under the same circumstances mine would have called me a moron. but she’s a much older jewish person from nyc. think woody allen character.

    glad your sister is feeding you well from afar. i am quite sure she will get a lot of pleasure knowing that.

    the photo upload thing? you can buy a thingee for $10 or so that’ll take care of that.

  3. I bet your sister’s pissed we don’t get to see pictures. Alright fine, I’m pissed.

    The french surrender food sounds pretty tasty, but I want the tiramisu and cheesecake.

  4. I love the Semper Fido workout. I am sure Willie gets the obligatory 2 points for cuteness and two points for effort – but what if the effort is not self produced…does that count?

    I love the Jim Beam cake…I want it. It sounds delicious. Your descriptions are hilariously written. I am enjoying your blogging almost as much as your sister’s. Keep it up. :-)

  5. good posting, keep it up! :)

    have you tried Brooklyn Brewery’s Monster Ale? It’s a ridiculously high percent of alcohol for beer but my boyfriend seems to like it.

    ~Ardie

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