It’s Cocktail Time!

It’s always really irritated me when Sandra Lee announces “It’s cocktail time” on her much-maligned Food Network show. It’s not that I disagree with her, per se, it’s just that coming from her…well, it smacks of self-medicating housewifery.

If I’m going to bust out the cocktails, it’s not going to be a “oh my GOSH! LOOK how cute this tablecloth is! My cocktail is inspired by the color of this beautiful tablecloth and matching cupcake tree!” No. It’s going to be more of an “oh my GOSH! Do you smell that grill heating up? That means it’s time to get CRUNK.” Only I don’t say crunk, for obvious reasons.

A couple of days ago, for example, it was a beautiful Friday afternoon, and we were firing up the grill for some poblano burgers on jalapeno cheddar buns. They were spicy. They were juicy. They were delicious. They were served with fresh steak fries, grilled corn-on-the-cob that was absolutely douched with lime butter, and a simple romaine salad with buttermilk-cilantro dressing. Woot! What could be better, right?

I have the answer to that. What could be better would be getting a touch sauced on a concoction so summery that it felt like rolling around in a patch of fire-ant-free grass in a bikini clutching a pink volleyball. So potent it felt like huffing white out from the mouth of a water bong. So pretty it was like…well, you get the picture. I bring you: The Honeydew Mojito.

It’s really simple, and utterly delicious. I recommend making a few. Or a lot, honestly. It goes down like buttah.

Honeydew Mojito
1/2 of a fresh, ripe honeydew, cubed
6 oz white rum
2 oz mint simple syrup
2 limes, juiced
club soda

In a capable blender, spin the melon, rum, simple syrup and lime juice until it’s well-pureed. Fill a pint glass with crushed ice (or cubed, if you prefer). Fill the glass 2/3 of the way with the honeydew-rum mixture. Fill the rest of the glass with club soda. Stir, test for sweetness, and add simple syrup as needed. Garnish with fresh mint and a melon wedge.

I feel like you could fill a camelbak with this stuff, float it in the pool next to your raft, hold the straw in your mouth, and suck intermittently while reading a trashy beach book. I used to do it with margaritas all the time, and it’s a great way to keep pool drinks cold, while also increasing the risk of drowning when you try to extricate your drunk ass from the raft.

6 thoughts on “It’s Cocktail Time!”

  1. You knew I’d be all over this, right? Particularly because at our house that drink would have a little sidebar saying, “Serves 1”. I’m about to go out and ‘garden’ (ie walk around a dismal looking patch of dirt with a shovel in my hand, occasionally kick things, and then come inside because my work there is done) and I truly believe that having a melon mojito in one hand as I poked at weeds would make it all worthwhile.

  2. It’s brilliant.
    At first I thought it was a photo of a cucumber drink.
    (lightbulb over head)!!! Add a few slices of peeled, seeded cucumber to the blender with the melon. You’ll adore the flavor.

  3. Hey, after that tirade about a frozen grape I figured I should see what you're about. Wow, you're about some really killer food ('n drink). I'm looking forward to reading whatchu do–in a place with better produce than me.

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