Since my last blog (slash political rant) offered nothing culinarily, except perhaps an opinion on Flamin’ Hot Chee-tohs, I thought I’d follow up immediately with a foodie one. Also, this can be seen as a peace offering to my lil’ sis. I may disagree with everything else she believes, but I’m all for treating animals well, just like she is. So I’m offering her a vegetarian meal in return for my ranting allowance. And I don’t want to brag or anything, but it’s a DAMNED good vegetarian meal. Like “Oh my God a leprechaun just found a pot of gold in the back of my mouth near my uvula and got really excited and danced around for a bit before dry humping my tongue” good. I don’t even care if you don’t like mushrooms or you don’t like olives or you don’t like cabbage. You’ll still like this dish. It tastes like absolutely none of its components, but something more wonderful entirely. A whole new beast. Like if Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt conceived a baby, and she birthed it from her size 2 body, and it came out actually looking just like one of her stolen sub-saharan babies. See?
It’s a portobello mushroom (stem and gills removed) drizzled with olive oil and salt and pepper. Then packed with an amalgam of freshly ground bread crumbs (from some leftover whole wheat english muffins I made on Saturday), roasted red peppers (from the jar), sauteed onions and garlic, chopped kalamatas, parsley, shredded provolone, and an egg (all of which were seasoned with salt, pepper, and a squeeze of lemon). The mushrooms then got put on a cookie sheet and baked at 375 until the mushrooms were starting to brown around the edges and the filling had just started to get a crust on the top.
The topping is a fresh tzatziki of Greek yogurt (2%), cucumber, garlic, lemon, and fresh mint.
And the side is a Greek slaw made from celery salt, sugar, lemon, oregano, red wine vinegar, and olive oil. It just got thrown over a bag of the pre-shredded cabbage mix I had leftover.
Chris and I ate until we thought we’d explode, but felt light and airy and happy. Such a low-cal dinner, but so fresh and clean and savory it was unreal. I highly suggest giving this a shot. HIGHLY. Even if you don’t like mushrooms, a portobella is like a little vegetable steak. Chewy and delicious and satisfying, without that mushroom taste. Love at first bite.
Feel free to dump way more tzatziki on the mushroom cap while you eat it. We did.