Can I get a WTF?

I bought some honeycrisp apples the other day, and I’m apparently now being visited by some sort of spiritual or ghostly presence. How are the two connected, you may ask? Well, one of the apples was pretty overly waxy, so I was going to peel it before eating it. I left it on the counter for a couple of days, and just noticed that it had gone all pale and anemic-looking. I picked it up to see if it was going bad and *DUMDUMDUMMMMMMM*


this photo was in no way edited, and the apple was in no way altered. It’s for rizzle.

Any ideas what the hell is happening to my apple? Is there some kind of “I saw the Virgin Mary in a tortilla” hotline for elderly Spanish women that I should know about?

12 thoughts on “Can I get a WTF?”

  1. I have that on my apples too! The people at the orchard near my house in Connecticut told me that if a hale storm passes through the orchard in the spring/early summer, that happens to a lot of the apples…they said they make cider out of most of them because they "scare the shit out of the customers."

  2. Mary, you were very useful. Anonymous, I married a doctor, sure. But I married an internal medicine/allergist/immunologist, and he knows nothing about any medicine outside those three fields. For example: the average sexually-aware, inner-city thirteen year old knows more about birth control pills than my husband. Truth.

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  4. Hello, you picture of suppurating plague-fruit has gotten us excited and/or aroused, so we'd like to add your blog to our site:

  5. Alinea is on Food Network right now! Er, the segment just ended. On Unwrapped, "Food Magic" or something. You can prolly find the clip online. now I'm extra jealous you went there.


  6. I will give you what you want. W.T.F. is up with your apples, dude? I have never seen that before. I am worried about them. And you. Maybe they are celebrating the day of the dead. Its a little early. I wonder what the repercussions of eating those apples would be? Did you google stigmata of the apple?

  7. In the summer I scavenge most of our fruit from my parents' back yard. Both the plums and the peaches do something similar where it starts off as wee little dots and ends up being sticky leaky droplets. Sometimes it's because the fruit was damaged by a bird, etc during the development stage. Other times it is an indication of worms or disease – basically deteriorating the integrity of the inside of the fruit, so the cell walls break down and the natural sugars start to pus out. Either way, I struggle with the appearance too much to eat them. Shallow? Perhaps. But sometimes it IS from a worm…..

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