This post is mostly just an update for my last post about ham and truffle pasta
It’s got to be hard to see pictures of delicate fettucine laced with slices of fresh black truffle and brown butter and blocks of beautiful ham without knowing how you can make them on your own, in your own kitchen.
The assumption is generally that, in order to eat fresh black truffles, one must:
A) Turn to a life of prostitution, hooking 4-5 times a day without even the rudimentary benefit of a pimp, hoarding all of the received john-money in a piggy bank that is cleverly disguised from the other hookers as a “panty fund.”
But you’re really pretty, and I don’t feel like you should have to spend your days scrapping with women in cheap lingerie over who gets the corner closest to Hugh Grant’s house.
B) Start bathing with the hose, outside, so that your bathtub can be relegated to full-time brewing of methamphetamines for Amy Winehouse.
But it’s really cold outside, and large spiders tend to hang out near the hose attachment, and having your nip-nips that hard makes it difficult to wear those cute, tightly-ribbed festive sweaters.
C) Marry a wizened, old man with incredible wealth and very little practicality, and feed him nothing but sticks of Irish butter and duck confit until his arteries start to gum together like a Twizzler that has been sitting in a diet Coke for close to three hours.
But it’s criminally easy to get ahold of Viagra nowadays, and really? Ew.
D) Plan an elaborate bank heist, wherein you use the latest laser technology to cut through the metal safe while being held up by a rope and a carabiner, bundle all of the cash into the pockets of your painfully-stylish cargo pants, and make your exit in a Mercedes driven by a Rhesus monkey.
But seriously, do you know how hard it is to find good monkeys nowadays? Most of them have only the most basic computer skills, and I’m pretty sure the Rhesis (the clear choice in heist-monkeys) is endangered or something.
So it would seem futile to get those truffles.
But, in my semi-infinite wisdom, I have located a really great supplier of Oregon black truffles (they also carry white)! And I’ve decided to share the contact information with you, because I like you, and because if I’m going to keep posting truffle recipes, and I want you to continue to read my blog, then I’d damned well better help you get ahold of some yourselves.
Anyway, the company is called Oregon Mushrooms, and they have got seriously beautiful truffles. I was hesitant at first, but the shipment I received was glorious, generous, and (after a few days left in the fridge to finish ripening) incredibly flavorful. And they’re really inexpensive, as far as truffles go. Tell them I sent you, and I know they’ll be sure to send you gorgeous ones.
Just so you know, I’m not being paid to pimp them or anything, I just feel it’s appropriate to offer recommendations for companies who have done right by me, and this one certainly has. They’re also really friendly, which helps, and the truffles come quite quickly.
I’ll post some more recipes here and there for you, and please do let me know how your experiences with the company end up playing out. I just put in my second order yesterday, as well as an order for some beautiful fresh chanterelles.